Like We Used To
by froggyparty96
Summary: Lily finally gave James a chance, he "messed up", and now Lily has a new boyfriend.  Can James win her back after Lily looks back on all the memories they had?
1. Gossip

_**My inspiration for this story was the song "Like We Used To" by Rocket To The Moon. It doesn't matter if you've heard it, just read my story! And good reviews brighten my day... :)**_

Lily sat on the couch in the Gryffindor common room with Roger Brooks's arm around her. Sure, she was content, but she still felt a little sad. She felt like something was missing. As Roger looked up from his book to smile at her, Lily recalled a scene that happened a couple of weeks ago...

_"James, I thought you had finally changed!" Lily yelled._

_"Come on, Lily, I'm sorry! It was just one little prank, and I really didn't mean for it to happen to Alice, you know that!"_

_Lily did know that James would have to be pretty stupid to purposely play a prank on her best friend._

_"James, you shouldn't play pranks on anyone. It's just plain mean! We can't be together until you're mature enough!"_

You might think I'm being way too harsh, but I really thought James loved me... If he did, he wouldn't have betrayed me like that and kept on playing pranks after I specifically asked him not to… But anyway, after I had my heart broken, Roger came up and comforted me, and it went up from there. So we're "a couple" now, apparently. He's a great guy, and he really cares about me, but… Well, never mind. No "buts." My life is great now, with a guy who **actually** wants me.

I forced a yawn.  
"Well, I'm pretty tired… I'll see you in the morning." I said to Roger, slipping out from under his arm. He looked as though he expected a goodnight kiss or something, but I just smiled at him and walked up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

My four best friends were already in our room. Taylor sat on her bed writing in her diary, Melissa and Lauren lounged on their beds and talked to each other, and Alice leaned against her pillows and stared at the ceiling. They all looked up when I walked. Melissa and Lauren said, "Hey," Taylor said, "Hey, girly!", and Alice smiled her sweet smile at me. I grinned around at them all. Melissa was a girl who used to be very shy, and still was at times, but after getting over her nerves about going to Hogwarts and making great new friends, she calmed down. She wasn't as outgoing as the rest of the group, and she sometimes beat herself up over nothing, but you couldn't find a sweeter girl anywhere at Hogwarts. She always put others first and had good intentions. She had long, straight, brown hair, and matching big, brown eyes. Taylor was a fun, party girl. If she liked a guy, she would turn her charm on and flirt with him until he asked her out. Even though Taylor could be stubborn or proud at times, she was a great friend who would do anything for her girls. She was a tall, dark-skinned girl with black, shoulder-length curly hair. Lauren was athletic and smart. She seemed to get good grades without even trying, and she was a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. With her short, cute, blonde hair and big, blue doe eyes, she always seemed to look innocent, even though she sometimes wasn't. She was independent and curious about everything around her. Alice had medium-length brown hair and a round, soft face with pink cheeks. Alice has lots of common sense, but she sometimes needs help with schoolwork, so I help her study. I wouldn't say that she's a girly girl, but she likes dressing up and painting her nails and stuff like that, like me. Alice has been my best friend since my first day at Hogwarts, and sometimes it's like she can read my mind. It's spooky, really.

Taylor went back to writing in her diary. Once she got into it, it was hard to pull her away from that little, purple book.

"You girls talking about boys again?" I asked Melissa and Lauren as I plopped down on my bed that was next to Alice's.

"We most certainly are not!" Lauren replied. "Well actually… Yeah, we are. I didn't want to lie to you, but Melissa made me…" she said, turning to smile jokingly at Melissa.

"Yeah, because we all know Melissa's just like that," I said, laughing. "Well, any interesting boy news?"

"Not really, just discussing Peter's huge crush on Lauren," Melissa said casually, though she smirked at Lauren as she said this.

"Ugh, don't remind me," Lauren pleaded dramatically. "He's really nerdy… I just want to be friends with the poor guy, at most, so I hope he doesn't try to make a move on me or he might get slapped."

We had overheard the other Marauders teasing Peter one night in the common room about his not-so-secret-anymore crush on Lauren. The Marauders… Oh, great. How did we get on this subject? I so don't want to talk about James right now, but I guess I owe you some explanations. James has had a huge crush on me since as long as I can remember, but he was an arrogant toe-rag, so I ignored him and probably hurt him emotionally and physically during the process. But over the years, he started changing and becoming a better person… And after seeing how determined he was, I thought I'd give him a chance. Boy was I wrong in making that decision. I never want to see him again. Since we now hang out with the Marauders a lot more than we used to, I guess that'll be hard. Anyway, Sirius is loud and obnoxious, but for some reason, Taylor likes him. I wonder if they'll ever get together… Oh, who am I kidding? These two could get a date with anyone, why would they waste anytime hooking up with each other? Remus is the brains of the group. Not only does he have book smarts, he always knows right from wrong, a skill I wish he could teach his friends. Peter isn't the most exciting of the Marauders, but he always seems to be there to listen and just… be there.

"Oh, and Melissa, we've got some very interesting news you might just like to hear about!" I said excitedly. Lauren, Taylor, and I made a semi-circle in front of Melissa, for they already knew what I was talking about.

"What?" she said a little reluctantly.

"Oh, well if you don't want to know…" Taylor said, turning away.

"Okay, okay, tell me!"

"SOMEONE HAS A CRUSH ON YOU!" we all screamed at once.

Melissa looked quickly around at all of us with shock and excitement on her face. "How do you know? Who is it? Is he nice? Do I know him?"

"Duh, of course you know him, twit!" Lauren said.

"Well then tell me! And how do you know he likes me? Did he tell you?"

"He didn't tell us, but we can just tell! He was staring at you in the common room last night, for example," I said.

"That's all the evidence you have? He looked at me once?"  
"No, we have lots of evidence, we just didn't want to tell you until we were sure, and we're sure now."

"Well if he was watching me in the common room, that must mean he's a Gryffindor, right?"

We all nodded, smiling.

"That's not much help! Tell me! Please!"  
"No, you have to guess!" Taylor said.

"I hate guessing."  
"Just name all the guys in Gryffindor then!"

"Can you at least tell me if he's in our year?" Melissa asked.

We all looked at each other for a moment, then shrugged and nodded at her.

"Yeah, he is."

"Okay… Well, who was in the common room last night?" she thought out loud. "Let's see… Bill, Marcus, Lewis—"  
We sat passively as she reeled of boys' names.

"—Jack, Remus, Peter—"

We all jumped and stared at her.

"What, did I say it? The last few names I said were Jack, Remus, and Peter... It's one of them?"

We nodded encouragingly.

"Well it's definitely not Peter… He's got the hots for Lauren… And Jack has a girlfriend, doesn't he?"

We all grinned hugely.

"IT'S REMUS!" I squealed along with Lauren and Taylor.

"He likes me?"

"YES!"

"No way."

"YES!"

"Are you serious?"  
"Not Sirius, Remus! Get with the program!" Taylor said. Nice play on words, I thought. Sirius must get tired of jokes about his name.

Slowly, Melissa grinned, and it turned into a beaming smile. "I never really thought of him that way… I mean, I love hanging out with him, and… He is pretty cute, huh?" She was glowing. It must've boosted her self esteem to know that a guy is practically in love with her. Well maybe she didn't know he liked her that much yet, but she will. I guess I just got used to James always liking me so much… I guess he doesn't anymore, so that's not a great feeling… But back to reality, we'd make a nice couple…I…I mean—THEY would make a nice couple. Melissa and Remus. Maybe he'll even ask her out to Hogsmeade. Maybe I can even be a bridesmaid in their wedding, since I won't be having my own happy ending anytime soon.


	2. Hopes and Crushed Dreams

A trip to Hogsmeade was planned for the upcoming weekend. All the girls were just sure that Remus was going to ask Melissa to go with him, but she didn't want to get her hopes up.

"The only reason he wouldn't ask is because he's nervous. So if he gets cold feet, don't be upset, okay?" That's what we kept telling her. Remus wasn't exactly known for being a lady's man, so we didn't know what he planned to do next.

I woke up this morning (it's Thursday, I think), brushed my teeth, and showered. Sometimes I take a shower in the morning, sometimes at night. I use my time under the warm water for deep thought, and I didn't feel like I had too much thinking to do last night.

Hmm.

I stood in front of all my shirts on hangers. What to wear? How about… A pink, long-sleeved polo, a brown sweater, and my light-wash, second favorite pair of jeans (I wore my favorite jeans yesterday). Good enough.

All my friends were already downstairs, except Taylor who hadn't woken up early enough to do her makeup before I entered the bathroom.

"Finally! I have to make myself beautiful!" Taylor exclaimed as I walked into our dorm.

"You're already beautiful!" I yelled as she ran to the bathroom.

"I know; I meant _enhance_ my beauty!"

Yep, that's Taylor for you.

I stepped lightly down the stairs because I didn't like causing too much of a commotion as I entered the common room. The first people I saw were the Marauders, hogging the couch near the fireplace. I would like to sit by the fire, since it's a bit chilly today, but never mind.

Sirius was lying on the floor with his feet on the arm of the couch furthest from the fire. Peter sat leaning against the couch next to Sirius. They chatted with Remus, who sat on the seat next to James. James was nearest to the end of the couch, staring into the dancing flames.

I walked straight past them, not even daring to look at them, to the table my friends were sitting around on the far side of the room. I sat next to Alice and smiled at her. She, Lauren, and Melissa were working on homework. I decided to just watch them, since Taylor probably wouldn't be much longer. It was a bit early for breakfast anyway.

Shortly after I sat, Roger approached. I saw him out of the corner of my eye, and I only turned when he was right next to me. He picked up my hand in his, got down on one knee, grinned, and said, "Lily, would you go to Hogsmeade with me?"

I smiled and said, "Yes."

Apparently, he spoke loud enough for most of the common room to hear because a few girls went, "Awww!" and Sirius pretended to barf. The other Marauders laughed, and I completely ignored them. I'm kind of proud of how I'm handling this!

"Okay, awesome. Well, I meet you here tomorrow, then!" Roger said. He raised his hand in a wave to my friends and me and walked away.

"Wait, did he say tomorrow? Isn't today Thursday?" I asked Alice

"It's Friday, Lily…" is all she said before she burst out laughing.

So what if I'm a little forgetful? It's not that funny!

"Okay, okay. Oh… So our charms test is today?"

"Yeah, that's what we're studying for."  
"GIMME THAT BOOK!" I yelled as I scrambled over Alice.

"Lily, you're best in the class. You don't even need to study!" she said, but she still handed me her book.

I read a few paragraphs from chapter nine before I heard, "Hey, Taylor!" across the room from another girl in our year, Jennifer.

Then, I felt Taylor tug on my shoulder and yell, "Come on, guys! I'm starving!"

We headed towards the portrait hole with the other people who had just gotten dressed. I felt an uncomfortable tug in my stomach as I saw the Marauders getting up as well. Why had they been waiting to go to breakfast?

Taylor must have had the same thought. She turned back to them and yelled, "Are you guys following us? Why'd you just decided to get up?"

"My stomach finally made up its mind," replied Sirius with a grin.

James, however, looked a bit uncomfortable.

Remus smiled and made a "ladies first" gesture towards the door.

Melissa laughed and bowed while saying, "Thank you, sir!"

They're so adorable. And they're the only ones who don't see it.

I gave Remus a curt nod, as he once one of the few Marauders I could stand at the moment, and started to walk toward the portrait hole.

It would've looked better if I hadn't tripped.

I walked as fast as I could while still looking normal, hoping Melissa, Taylor, Lauren, and Alice would copy my speed. When we sat down at the Gryffindor table, I was careful to position myself in the middle of the group so no Marauders could sit by me. They sat a little ways down from us, and I could hear them laughing. Why do they have to be so loud and obnoxious?

After lunch, we walked out of the Great Hall and went our separate ways. Melissa and Lauren went to potions with me, and Taylor and Alice went… Well, they went to some class. We arrived at the dungeons just in time, and we got a table in the middle of the room to ourselves. Slughorn turned from his desk, wagged his finger in a non-threatening way, and said, "I was starting to think you girls weren't coming! But anyway, today's lesson-"

I lost focus after that. James was staring at me from his table. When I looked at him, he smiled at me. I turned coldly away. You don't even know what he did, do you? Okay, let's see if I can have a good flashback…

"_James! What is WRONG with you?" I cried as I watched Alice floating up to the hospital, guided by a professor's wand. I couldn't tell which professor it was because tears were blurring my vision... _

_Alice and I had just been walking across the courtyard when we walked past Severus. He muttered something as I walked by (I don't associate with him anymore, so I don't care), then I suddenly felt the whoosh of air as a spell flew by me. All of a sudden, Alice was on the ground, twitching and screaming like she was in horrible pain… Suddenly, she stopped moving. I was so scared she would never wake up…_

"_Lily, I… Oh my God… I was just trying to play a prank on Snape! Alice got in my way right when I shot the spell… And anyway, I had to do it, he whispered something about you!"_

"_I can take care of myself, thank you! We're through!" I yelled as my voice cracked._

_I ran upstairs after Alice before he could get another word out._

"Miss Evans?"

I looked up from the desk as I realized Slughorn was talking to me.

"Do you know the proper amount of lacewing flies needed?" he smiled.

"Um… No, sir…" I flushed red.

Most of the class smirked. They must find it funny for the teacher's pet to look like an idiot.

Great. Just great. Life just keeps getting better.


	3. A New Secret

The moment class ended, I gathered all my things and practically sprinted out of the room. I just wanted to be alone after having all those painful memories stirred up in my brain. I quickly steered myself to the nearest restroom, before any of my friends could follow me. I opened the bathroom door, and breathed a sigh of relief as I saw no other girls where there. I tried to control my breathing as I walked to a stall, but as I leaned against the cool wall, I couldn't stop the warm tears from falling. I've been feeling so hopeless… Alice was cured by Madam Pomfrey, so why did I have to overreact and yell at James so much? He'll probably never forgive me… And now I'm in a relationship with an amazing guy that I don't have many feelings for, but I really don't want to hurt him! I have no idea what to do. I start thinking about how amazing it would be if one of my friends ran into the bathroom, crying my name, looking to comfort me. She would tell me that everything will be okay. She would tell me what to do to fix this…

I waited a few minutes, but no one came bursting into the quiet restroom. I slowly unlocked my stall, walked past the mirrors, and picked up my discarded bag from near the door. I walked out into the almost deserted corridor, and nearly tripped on something. Someone, actually. James, looking startled and worried, quickly stood up. What was he doing here? He must have stared at me all of potions if he saw me run this way. He moved forward and briefly wrapped his arms around me in hug that made my insides squirm. Even though my arms were pinned to my sides, I knew Roger's hugs never felt this right (and so wrong at the same time. What if someone saw us?) He pulled away and continued to gaze at me with sadness. I looked at him for a second, my eyes wide and still full of tears, and my mouth slightly open. Suddenly I jerked back to reality and fast-walked away, turning a corner so he couldn't see which way I went. I needed to sort out my thoughts.

Of course, he knows the route to charms as well as I do, but he probably takes a short cut or something. With hardly any time to think about what just happened, I arrived at the classroom on the third floor. I sat at a table with of my friends, tried to act normal and cheerful, and kept my eyes averted from the door.

"Lily, what happened in Slughorn's class? Are you alright?" asked Melissa.

"Wait, what happened in potions?" said Alice, looking between Melissa and me.

"I'm fine!" I said in my most convincing voice. "I was just daydreaming," I say as I try to smile.

The girls mostly accepted my meek excuse, but Alice gave me a meaningful look. I shrugged, got my wand out, and tried to focus my attention to the front of the room.

After a boring lesson about summoning charms, I tell Melissa, Alice, Taylor, and Lauren to go on back to the common room without me. "I'll be there in a minute; I just have a question for Professor Lewis about today's lesson."

As they left the room, Alice turned around gave me a small smile. I returned it, and she followed the other girls. I took my time packing my bag. I said, "'Bye, Professor," then walked through the doorway. Once again, I found myself nearly running into James Potter. At least I had my wits about me this time. Well, mostly.

"Can I help you, Potter?"

"Were you crying earlier? Did Roger do something to you?"

That caught me off guard almost as much as his hug did. He sounded generally concerned.

"I-you heard that?"

"Your eyes were all puffy."

Oh. I should've checked my reflection before leaving the bathroom.

"So are you okay? Do you want to take a walk with me?" he said.

Normally I would come up with a snide comment and deny him immediately. But with the care he had just expressed for me… I find myself liking him more. And I really need to talk out my problems. "Okay. Let's go."

"So, what happened?" James asked right as we started walking.

"It's… complicated. But… First of all… I'm sorry for being so tough on you. You didn't deserve it," I said awkwardly.

James's eyes widened and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly as he said, "Well, thank you. I'm still really sorry though. Will you forgive me, please?"

I smiled a small smile, but kept my eyes on the ground. "Of course. Shall we sit?" I asked as we reached a bench in the courtyard.

"Let's. So…Was the whole thing with Alice the only reason you dumped me? Or were you going to anyway?"  
I winced. The word "dumped" sounds so harsh. "No. I wasn't going to break up with you anyway. It was just my first reaction; I was scared and angry. But, believe it or not… I've regretted it," I said, even shocking myself a bit with my bluntness.

"Not having fun with Roger, huh?" he smirked.

"He's a great guy," I start, "but he's just… not right for me."

"Yeah. I know. So how are you going to break up with him?"

"I—what—it… I don't know! I can't… I don't want to hurt his feelings!"

"I thought you were a Gryffindor?"

I sat up a little straighter. "I am."

"Then be brave and let him down gently."

I hesitated for a moment. "I will. Next time I see him."

"Good. So, you're going to be single soon, then?"

I paused in mock thought. "Why yes… I suppose I will be!"

He grinned. "Then… Can I ask you out now? In advance?"

"I suppose you can," I said calmly, while my insides did the conga.

"Okay…" he turned toward me and took my hand. "Will you be my girlfriend? Again?"

"Yes. After I break up with Roger," I beamed. "But… I don't think I want to tell anyone just yet. I don't know how my friends would react." They probably don't think James and I can ever work things out. They're also probably as mad at James as I was, maybe more. I did tell them the story of what he did in quite a biased fashion…

"I suppose this has been tough for you, so sure, I'll so along with that." He put his arm around me as I shivered in a cold gust of wind. I suddenly felt as though I just downed a whole bottle of butterbeer. The amount of warmth and kindness that James could transfer to my body with just one touch was astonishing. It honestly felt lovely to be back in his arms.

"I'm glad we get another chance," he said as he leaned his head on mine. "This time it will be forever."


End file.
